In some cases where your goods are perishable you probably will not request that goods be returned! However if you are not prepared to offer a very positive guarantee then perhaps you should not be selling that product:

• Guarantee: In the light of the forgoing you will appreciate we feel confident that we can unequivocally guarantee your total satisfaction with our product and service. Again you should note that your statutory rights under the current consumer protection laws are not affected (more probably enhanced).

Perhaps the following is the section that might be read most often. It is the point often where you actually can make a customer for life - it is the way you handle errors that make or break this relationship. Never argue - apologise very sincerely and send a replacement / refund promptly. There might be the odd occasion when you are being had - but they would have to be very brass- necked to do it more than once!

• Refunds: In the event of loss, late delivery or dissatisfaction with the product supplied and a replacement is not acceptable, the goods need not be returned (unless required by Royal Mail for their investigations) but a full refund will be sent. If initial payment was by Credit Card, then the refund will be made back to your Credit Card Company. If however payment was by cheque, then the refund will be posted to you by cheque promptly. Our major concern is to maintain our happy relationship with you, our customer. If the goods ordered were a gift to a third party, the parcel is sent not only with your message but a note (and SAE) asking them (your giftee) to contact us immediately if they feel the goods are not in perfect condition or they believe the postal / courier services may have failed to deliver promptly. We suggest that we will attend to this without any fear of embarrassment to you. We feel this is what you the donor would want us to do on your behalf.

As you are well aware, you are not normally supposed to take money from a customer until you are actually despatching the goods unless you have had to purchase materials on behalf of the customer to create the product they are ordering - e.g. a stonemason buying a special block of stone. However, to reassure the customer, it is worthwhile adding this:

• Payment: Although our customers offer payment at the time of placing their order, it is our policy not to action Credit Cards or cash cheques until the week in which the goods are to be despatched. Many of our customers submit their Christmas orders in October and their payment therefore may not be processed for almost eight weeks. Payment online is through our own bank, the Royal Bank of Scotland which is secure (BS7799 - Code of Practice for Information Security Management).

Although with a private purchase the VAT element is something the customer has to pay but cannot reclaim, there are extra costs that the customer might need to meet particularly with overseas shipments that should be highlighted:

• VAT: Currently Smoked Scottish salmon is exempt from VAT within the UK. There are some countries where there will be some excise duty due - on the whole most countries do not pursue this on small quantities. When shipping via DHL they will apply whatever duties are applicable and if we know about this beforehand we will inform you - Australia is certainly a country where duties make it impracticable to send smoked Scottish salmon. Any duties payable will be paid by us to DHL. If these have not been taken into consideration at the time of placing your order we will contact you.

The following is the one that I found hardest since it was not a situation that we had ever experienced. However clearly any complaint does need to be handled very promptly - otherwise your customer just gets more angry but you need to explain that there might be times when you are unable to deal with a complaint as rapidly as you might wish:

• Complaints: Well we don't have a procedure - because it has never got to that situation in 20 years! Clearly we take any complaint very seriously and would expect to contact you almost by return - but at Christmas time this might lead to a delay of 24 hours. It is an all hands on deck (parcel packing) scenario at this time of year. As smoked salmon has a chilled (stored below 5ºC) shelf life of 3 weeks maximum (frozen several months) then we would expect to hear from you within that 3 week period if you felt that your smoked salmon was not in good condition when it was received.

In the following section you need to refer to the country's law under which you operate - Scotland differs from England as does Wales.

• Law and Jurisdiction: Any contract for your purchase from [Company's Name] is governed by and has to be interpreted under the Law of Scotland, and you agree that such contract will be subject to the non-exclusive jurisdiction of the Scottish courts.

Finally, this was a 'personal note' as in this case it somehow went against the grain to have to write down what was in effect a gentleman's agreement - to behave absolutely fairly. It is not an essential part of your website's terms and conditions of sale, but it does make the whole thing appear more friendly and informal, less off-putting.

• Final Note: We suppose because we have always enjoyed an open and trusting relationship with our existing customers, it grieves us to have to write down what has just been mutually understood between us over so many years. In so doing it has somehow denigrated that good old British sense of fair play...... Any concern that you might have regarding security, privacy or complaint in connection with making a purchase online may always be taken up with my office. [this would normally be an email link or phone number].